Word of the week: tenacious \tə-ˈnā-shəs\ (hear it!) - adjective - 1 a : not easily pulled apart : cohesive, b : tending to adhere or cling especially to another substance; 2 a : persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired - (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Hungry? Come Devour a Choco-Chip Novel Franken-Cookie!
When is writing a novel like baking chocolate chip cookies?
No, it's not a riddle. Unless you like riddles.
|Arr! Pile of pirate-y cookies!|| |
Writing a novel is exactly like baking chocolate chip cookies. Really. Not oatmeal—too oat-y; not sugar—too sugary; not shortbread—too short (that's really reserved for stories with fewer than five thousand words because the “baking” process is much different); and absolutely not gingerbread—too gingery and crumby (read: crummy).
No. It has to be chocolate chip. Why? Because they're yummy. And so, too, should a novel be—yummy. How can they compare? With much twisting and fitting, I assure you, like cramming a porcupine into a tuxedo.
According to allrecipes.com, to bake the “best” chocolate chip cookies you would need:
semi-sweet chocolate chips
. . . plus all of those extra things you won't necessarily eat:
mixing spoon and bowl
humans, after they've been baked (the cookies, not the humans)
By happy coincidence—Hey!—novels also contain a wonderful mishmash of stuff:
. . . again, plus all of those extra things you'd need:
readers, to devour afterwards (the novel, not the readers)
So, let's first match up the elements:
butter = narrative
white sugar = protagonist
brown sugar = antagonist
eggs = secondary characters
vanilla extract = description
flour = sub-plots
baking soda = plot
hot water = scenes
salt = dialogue
semi-sweet chocolate chips = theme
oven = brain
baking sheet = computer
mixing spoon and bowl = keyboard
humans = readers
. . . then, with a bit of copy/paste magic (*poof* mad libs style) we'll insert all of the novel elements into the directions for an actual chocolate chip cookie recipe, and let's see what comes out!
Preheat brain to 350 double-spaced pages (175 single-spaced)
Cream together narrative, protagonist, and antagonist until smooth. Beat in the secondary characters one at a time, then stir in the description. Dissolve plot into scenes. Add to novel along with dialogue. Stir in sub-plots and theme. Drop by keyboards into well-prepared computer.
Bake for about 10 years, or until novel is nicely browned along the edges.
Cool, and serve to readers.
See? Writing a novel is exactly like baking chocolate chip cookies, and much like cramming a porcupine into a tuxedo, it'll be one of the bravest (or craziest) things a tenacious writer will ever attempt.
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Photo credit: chocolate-dessert-recipes.com